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What? You put FOOD in your lunchbox? You fool!
By Mike on August 28
Let’s say, hypothetically, that you’re a mid-30s Internet millionaire with a beautiful family including a kid in elementary school. You’re looking for a way to spend far more money than is strictly required on some minor luxury, but you also want to begin molding your child into a miniature version of your slightly nerdy self. How, you ask, could you most efficiently combine your needs for conspicuous consumption, vicarious living, and geekery?
You, my friend, need to check out the Lunchbox Collector over at http://www.lunchboxcollector.com/vintage.html and choose one of many antique lunch boxes. (Non-IE users may need to scroll the page to the right.) $975 for a mint condition Star Wars lunchbox? How can you go wrong?
Also, if the above description is mostly accurate but you’re more into cringe-inducing attempts at humor instead of a totally bad-ass X-Wing, you could also drop $550 on a fashionable vinyl Ziggy lunchbox from 1974. Thermos included, trenchant insights into the human condition not available at this time–although I guess you could cut something out of the sometimes-poorly-named funny pages and tape it to the box.
p.s. Try not to go off on your kid when they trade the lunchbox to a classmate for a Ho-Ho and a G.I. Joe temporary tattoo. Thirty years from now, when they’re spending $50,000 on a new-in-box G.I. Joe camouflage sheet and duvet set, they’ll think back on this and realize what they did.
p.p.s. Maybe you should buy the bedsheets now and sell them to your kid for $40,000 later. Might be a good investment–that’s all I’m saying.
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Spider-Man Blue & Red Lunch BoxKeep your child's lunch and snacks fresh with this handy Spider-Man lunch box. This blue and red insulated lunch box keeps food warm or cool and features an action-packed image of Spidey on the front. With an easy zipper compartment and a convenient handle, this lunch box is and is lightweight, durable, and great to take on a trip or to school! Measures approximately 8 x 10 x 3 inches.Read MoreIn Stock
$6.48
at Marvel Shop
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BEN 10: ALIEN FORCE Lunch BoxJoin the Ben 10 team with this Ben 10: Alien Force lunchbox. This blue and orange themed lunchbox displays an action packed image of Ben, Humungousaur, Swampfire and Echo Echo on the front. It also features a large zipper compartment, and a soft carrying handle. Measures approximately 10 x 8 x 3 inches.Read MoreIn Stock
$12.95
at Cartoon Network Shop
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Iron Man 2 Lunch KitKeep your child's lunch and snacks fresh with this handy Iron Man 2 lunch kit. This red, insulated soft lunch box features an image of Iron Man in mid-flight and keeps food warm or cool. With an easy zipper compartment and a convenient handle, this lunch box is lightweight, durable, and great to take on a trip or to school! Measures approximately 8 x 10 x 3 inches.Read MoreIn Stock
$9.71
at Marvel Shop
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Bakugan Square Tin Lunch Boxes, Set of 2Pack your snacks in style with these Bakugan square tin lunchboxes! Included in this set are two Bakugan-themed, action packed lunch boxes with a 3D image on the front. One features Dan with his Bakugan and the other features Dan with his fellow TV show characters. These sturdy tin lunch boxes measure approximately 7 1/2 inches long x 2 1/2 inches wide x 6 inches tall and feature a metal clasp closure and a plastic handle.Read MoreIn Stock
$19.95
at Cartoon Network Shop
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Bakugan Domed Tin Lunch Boxes, Set of 3Pack your snacks in style with these Bakugan domed tin lunchboxes! Included in this set are three Bakugan-themed, action packed lunch boxes: one featuring Dan with a blue background, one of Dan with a multicolor background, and one of Dan with a red background. These sturdy tin lunch boxes measure approximately 6 1/2 inches long x 3 inches wide x 5 inches tall and feature metal clasp closures and a plastic handle.Read MoreIn Stock
$24.95
at Cartoon Network Shop
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Buyenlarge 071982CG12 Lunch Bar 12""x 18""Giclee on CanvasSeries: Candy BoxesArtist: UnknownPeriod: Source country: USASource Year: Antique Candy Boxes Packaging12 inch by 18 inch Giclee print on Canvas.All files are stored digitally and are ready for reproduction. The quality is closely monitored to ensure professional results.This item is custom made per order.Read MoreIn Stock
$77.63
$61.48
at Unbeatable Sale
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Buyenlarge 071982P2030 Lunch Bar 20x30 posterSeries: Candy Boxes. Artist: Unknown. Period:. Source country: USA. Source Year:. Antique Candy Boxes Packaging. 20inch by 30 inch poster print on standard paper. All files are stored digitally and are ready for reproduction. The quality is closely monitored to ensure professional results. This item takes 59 businessdays to shipRead MoreIn Stock
$31.73
$23.50
at Unbeatable Sale
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Tennessee Volunteers Lunch BoxThis Tennessee Volunteers lunch box is perfect for every fan. Team graphics give you an official appeal. Shop Kohls.com for all your favorite NBA gear. In black.In Stock
$24.99
at Kohls
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Chicago Blackhawks Red Lunch BoxThis item can ship today if ordered by 4pm Central Time. Pack your lunch with pride each day with this Chicago Blackhawks Red Lunch Box . This durable nylon lunch bag is great for everyday use and features insulated PVC lining. High density screenprinted team logo Handle for easy transportation Measures 8.5 x 10.5 x 4 Officially licensed by the NHL This Product Makes a Great Holiday Gift!Read MoreIn Stock
$12.99
at FansEdge
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Round Tiffin Lunch BoxOur BPA free round tiffin lunch box is made from high quality stainless steel and has two compartments. It can be used for storing leftovers, packing snacks or just carrying lunch to office or school. Use top compartment by itself or stack up with the bottom container. Overall dimensions: 5 GC¥ (D) x 3.1GC¥ (H) (D is 5 -+GC¥ with clasps); top /bottom compartments: 5.0 (D) x 1.6 (H).Read MoreSee prices for: Round Tiffin Lunch Box
In Stock
$15.30
at Abe's Market
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Lemonade Personalized Lunch BoxLemonade Personalized Lunch Box When life hands you lemons, make lemonade! This kid's lunch box features a pastel lemonade stand. Make your kid's lunch time even more fun with this personalized lunch box! Your little one will love toting this tin lunch box to school! Water resistant. Dry erase sheet on the inside lid. This item is custom made especially for you upon order. Personalization or special instruction inscription boxes will only hold 200 characters. Please include any additional notes or requests in ...Read MoreIn Stock
$45.00
at Rosenberry Rooms
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Crocodile Creek Jouster Lunch BoxSchool lunches is more fun when packed in our line of beautifully-designed, high-quality lunch boxes. Simply wipe with a damp cloth after each use. Made of quality materials with extra lining and padding to keep food fresh. Conforms to or exceeds U.S. and European safety standards. Our lunchboxes are PVC free. Phthalate free. Vinyl free. BPA free. Lunch box is 10"w x 7.5"h x 3"d.Read MoreIn Stock
$15.30
at Julabug
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The Container Store Fresh Lunch BoxGive "let's do lunch" a neat new meaning with our Fresh Lunch Box. It has room for a hearty sandwich and extras, along with three handy and brightly colored containers sized just right for a variety of snacks, from small items such as nuts to larger noshes like carrots, celery or cheese sticks. There's also a beverage container that can be frozen to help keep your lunch chilled as it thaws. This lunch box even includes its own curved fork, which clips safely under the lid.||Made from polypropylene | PVC- ...Read MoreIn Stock
$14.99
at The Container Store
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Evriholder Crayola Lunch-a-Licious Lunch Box 80072Features: -Lunch box. -Carry your lunch in style. -Drink cup included for juice or water. -Holds a sandwich, fruit, snack and drink. -Removable handle for easy cleaning. -Available in two assorted colors. -BPA free. -Dimensions: 3.6"" H x 5.75"" W x...Read MoreIn Stock
$15.40
$8.95
at Wayfair
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Pittsburgh Steelers Lunch BoxThis Pittsburgh Steelers lunch box is perfect for every fan. Team graphics give official appeal. Shop Kohls.com for all your favorite NFL gear. In black.In Stock
$24.99
at Kohls
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Kids Oval Lunch BoxKid tested, this oval lunch container is made from high quality stainless steel and is completely BPA free. It is dishwasher safe and unlike plastic containers, it is durable enough to last a lifetime. Our kids lunch box has easy to open side latches and can pack foods separately in its two compartments - a sandwich or roll in one and snacks or fruit in the other. Independently lab tested and certified lead free. Dimensions: Overall: 5.3GC¥ (L) x 4.2GC¥ (W) x 3.0GC¥ (H) Bottom compartment ...Read MoreSee prices for: Kids Oval Lunch Box
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$17.55
at Abe's Market
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Submarine Personalized Lunch BoxSubmarine Personalized Lunch Box Take a trip down under with this kid's lunch box featuring a submarine. Make your kid's lunch time even more fun with this personalized lunch box! Your little one will love toting this tin lunch box to school! Water resistant. Dry erase sheet on the inside lid. This item is custom made especially for you upon order. Personalization or special instruction inscription boxes will only hold 200 characters. Please include any additional notes or requests in the Comments box during ...Read MoreIn Stock
$45.00
at Rosenberry Rooms
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Crocodile Creek Ferns Lunch BoxSchool lunches is more fun when packed in our line of beautifully-designed, high-quality lunch boxes. Simply wipe with a damp cloth after each use. Made of quality materials with extra lining and padding to keep food fresh. Conforms to or exceeds U.S. and European safety standards. Our lunchboxes are PVC free. Phthalate free. Vinyl free. BPA free. Lunch box is 10"w x 7.5"h x 3"d.Read MoreIn Stock
$11.00
at Julabug
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The Container Store Box Appetit Lunch BoxEnjoy a gourmet lunch anytime, anywhere with our Box Appetit Lunch Box. It features a divided dish so you can microwave one item while keeping the others cool. There's also a sauce pot for salad dressing or dipping sauces - perfect for sushi lovers! A fork/knife combo is also included. The glass-like lid locks to the base for a airtight seal.||Made from polypropylene and copolyester | Microwave- and dishwasher-safeRead MoreIn Stock
$24.99
at The Container Store
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Indianapolis Colts Lunch BoxThis Indianapolis Colts lunch box is perfect for every fan. Team graphics give official appeal. Shop Kohls.com for all your favorite NFL gear. In blue.In Stock
$24.99
at Kohls
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