Peanut Butter

We at PocketChange.com recently had a chance to sit down and ask Randy Diaz, an American living in France about his experiences with trying to get acclimated with living overseas and his thoughts on people, food and culture. He blogs about his experience over on him and his partner’s experiences on their blog “No I’m not a Francophile, but I live in Paris…” Here’s what we found out:

1) First off, I would like to thank you, Randy, for taking some time to answer a few short questions for us. As an American who has retired in Paris, what would you say has been the largest culture shock for you between living in Paris and America?

Convenience, space, weather and bureaucracy in a nutshell:

• Language. Although many Parisians speak some English, it’s always good to know basic French. If you make an effort to speak French, the French are very appreciative. Plus knowing the language helps you navigate a little easier through your day-to-day activities like shopping etc.
• Convenience. It is very convenient to live in the U.S. and Americans are used to conveniences.  When Americans come to a foreign country they know that there will be differences as to the way things are done. For those who easily adapt, it should be easy; however, for those who can’t or won’t this transition will be a difficult one.  I want to point out the differences are not better or worse, it’s just different. For example, you can walk into any drugstore in the US, wherein most are open 24/7, you can buy anything from liquor, food, car needs, carpentry, souvenirs, and yes medicines (over-the-counter, or prescription).  In France, it’s regulated what can be sold where; hence, the over the counter medication e.g., aspirins can only be purchased at a pharmacy. Also, unless you live in one of the suburbs with mega-stores, you will need to go to several shops to do basic shopping, e.g., butcher, bakery, fruit stand etc.  There’s also the issue of storage, most refrigerators, and storage is limited in Paris, that’s why most shop daily. Personally, I don’t have a problem with this, but some Americans do.
• Space.  Cultural shock for most Americans is apartment space. Unless you are extremely wealthy and can afford an “American Style” apartment, this will take some getting used to.  Space is a premium, hence average size apartments are between 30-40 square meters (about 320-420 square feet). We’ve known of families of 4 who live in these small apartments. That’s why parks, cafés etc., are always so crowded; most Parisians socialize outside the home because it’s difficult to entertain in the home.
• Weather.  This applies more to people from California or the southwest, it rains quite frequently in Paris, especially in the summer, in fact, Paris has a higher average amount of rain fall than London. So, picnics, outings etc., are usually planned around the weather, and if the weather turns, then most of us look for an alternative (e.g., finding indoor space) or rescheduling an outing.
• Bureaucracy.  If you want to live in Paris, you have to deal with the bureaucracy. I don’t like dealing with the bureaucracy. I don’t think there is one ex-pat or French person for that matter who doesn’t shrug or get physically ill whenever you mention the Prefecture (police).  I have several examples, let’s start with a simple one, my name in their “system” was reversed, they listed Diaz as my First name and Randy as my last. I had to go in, fill out dossiers, when logically whoever was in front of a PC could have just corrected it on the spot, but no they have to follow protocol, plus it keeps several people employed.  It literally took 9-months to correct my name.

I think the funniest experience we had, was when we went to the prefecture to drop off our paperwork to renew our resident cards (carte-de-séjour). Keep in mind they gave us the envelope to use for our dossiers. The main receptionist said, it’s too big so we need you to deliver it in person to office A.  So, we went to office A where, by the way, we’re suppose to eventually have our interview, we told the second receptionist that the main receptionist told us to bring the package to her, she just rolled her eyes like why didn’t she (main receptionist) take it, and said she couldn’t take it either and we need to go to another building and deposit it in a slot. We went to building B, C and D on both the 1st and 2nd floors trying to find this mysterious “slot.”  We searched high and low, and even searched in the bathrooms for this proverbial slot.  Couldn’t find it.  So, we asked one person, and they didn’t know, so we saw a group of people talking in what looked like an office, we asked them, and they pointed behind a door, the slot was hidden behind a door “unmarked”, and unless you ask for specific directions, you would never find it.  What is even more hysterical, the slot was too small, so we had to fold our folder with the thick dossiers and forced it to fit, and it will eventually be delivered to the 2nd receptionist, go figure? These situations are so absurd, you have to laugh about it, otherwise you will go crazy, believe me.  There are just too many silly examples of the bureaucracy.  Unfortunately, it also exists in every day practice. Try returning something in a department store, or enrolling for e.g., a French class at the Mairie.

Only real advise I can give your readers about the bureaucracy aside from having lots of patience, don’t take anything personally, look at is as a challenge.  Use laughter when it may seem ludicrous and ridiculous.  Think of it as a “right of passage” like hazing!  And,\ BONNE CHANCE!!!

2) Do you have any advice for people who are planning to live or retire overseas as you have?

Yes, DO YOUR HOMEWORK! And, have a lot of PATIENCE! There are a million websites that describe what to expect and how to live like a “local”, etc. from finding apartments, getting residence cards, how to shop, and even how to go about just day-to-day living.  Paris is a beautiful city, and it is a large city. So, it’s going to have the good, the bad, and the ugly. Another important thing to remember, in the US, it is customer service driven, the proprietor must ensure good customer service especially if they want repeat referral.  The paradigm changes in Paris, you as a customer are entering their “home” so it is up to you to initiate customer service. Americans find this cultural difference “rude”, but it’s just that, a cultural difference. So, always, always, greet the store proprietor with a “bonjour Madam” or “bonjour Monsieur” before proceeding to shop. Always acknowledge their existence in a polite respectful manner.  This is true also in restaurants etc. FYI…, I provide some helpful advise on my website www.parismissives.blogspot as well.

3) What’s the number one thing that you miss the most about America?

You may have gathered I’m from California, San Francisco to be exact. Most of my ex-pat friends are from California, and we often joke that we certainly did not move here for the weather. So, with that said, I miss the predictable sunny (rainless) summers.  Also, I miss “good” Mexican food. Mexican food is to California what fried chicken is to the south. And, I do miss the day-to-day conveniences of being able to shop 7-days a week, and in some cases 24-hours, go to restaurants anytime (Note: most restaurants are closed Sundays and Mondays, and some are even closed during the week-ends). And, being able to return something to a department store, without feeling like I’m being interrogated or I’m a criminal. But it does make you think twice if you really need something or not.

4) What’s been your favorite part about living in Paris?

In a nutshell, my friends. I have the most incredible group of friends and I am very thankful for that.  My first year was difficult, I knew only 2-people and I’m a very social person. As my network of friends grew, I started feeling a part of the community. I have a  diverse set of friends who are all very supportive.  I am starting to enjoy my life in Paris. Again, because friendships are important to me.

I am a city boy, so Paris is attractive in that it’s easy to get around the metro system, buses, trams etc., we actually don’t own a car. I’m starting to find fabulous places to eat and visit. But keep in mind, we also return to the US twice a year; hence, I get my US fix. If I didn’t have that, then I would probably go nuts.

I also love the outdoor markets. I love seeing what’s in season and planning meals around “fresh, seasonal” foods. Although, I prefer ethnic cuisine to French cuisine, I do occasionally like to go to a nice family style French restaurant or Bistro. The French love their food and wine and are very versed on this topic. So, one of my enjoyments is to actually have long discussions about food and wine.  And, of course I love the slower pace of life in Paris, even though it’s a big city, people take time to enjoy their food, their parks, and their friends.

5) As a former cooking instructor, what do you think is the largest difference between French and American cuisines?

Actually, I think there are more similarities than differences between French and American cuisine.  I’m going to simplify this, but both are meat and potato societies. It’s just a matter of preparation and presentation.  For example you’ve got some of very French dishes such as Boeuf Bourginon (Beef Burgundy), we have an American version of this known as beef stew; however, the difference is that the French use wine as their stewing liquid.  I guess the differences would be French are more adventurous in eating parts of an animal that Americans will not eat, for example, they’ll eat “tête de veau” (veal head), or have a gèsier salad (gizzard salad).  Also, sauces are an important flavoring accompaniment to their food and the French do it well. American gravies tend to be heavier and more hearty and not as “sophisticated” e.g., white gravy.  French love to serve their food in courses, sometimes preferring a separate vegetable course after a meat course. Also portions are smaller,  but bottomline I truly believe there are more similarities than differences.

6) Have you had any difficulties in purchasing ingredients in Paris that you could have readily found in America?

No, you can find most things in Paris, but it’s converting it to an American recipe that can sometimes be difficult, for example flour. The flour here is based on a numbering system:

• Type 45 – is a Self Raising Flour
• Type 55 – is Strong Plain Flour and is equivalent to an “all-purpose-flour”
• Type 65 — Bread Flour

There are several websites that can help you find American ingredients or help you find it’s French equivalent.  Recently, Philadelphia cream cheese has been introduced into the supermarkets, before that we had to use a product called St. Moret, which is very close to Philadelphia cream cheese.  You can buy American ingredients like “corn syrup” at Bon Marché.  Another example, peanut butter is an American staple; peanut butter is not popular with the French. You can buy them at some grocery stores, but they’re expensive. I found them in Chinatown at a much reduced cost, and they’re canned not bottled.  Buttermilk can be easily found in Arab markets as well.  You just have to know where to go to get the equivalent, and there are so many website to help you navigate through French ingredients.

7) What do you think is the connection between people, food and culture?

I have traveled all over the world. I always say, the connection between people, food and culture is intertwined.  You can learn more about the culture and history of its people by visiting their markets, and eating their food.  For example, the dish paella. Every country that has ever been invaded by Spain has this dish, from the Philippines to Argentina.  Cultural similarities are also notably as in the language, the value system such as religion, and how food binds and defines a group. They say what binds the French are their love of food and wine.  What binds the Indians is their love of spice.  Most countries that enjoy “spicy/heat” foods are typically countries with very warm climate, since spicy/heat helps cool the body through perspiration.  So, yes, the link between people, food and culture exists throughout the world.

8 ) I realize that your partner is trying to accomplish his lifelong goal of learning how to speak French. How is that going and do you speak any yourself?

My first year living in Paris, I had no desire to learn French. First because I already grew up “tri-lingual” and learning a new language was not in my game plan since I didn’t think we would continue living in Paris.  The second year rolled around, and we made a decision to make Paris our primary home, so I took a French class. I learned basics, but improved by speaking with friends who did not speak English. I am by no means fluent, but I speak enough to get by.

As for my partner, his French has improved dramatically. I knew he could speak French well, when he got into a political debate with the tax people.  I’m more motivated to learn French now, and my partner’s motivation always existed. I am progressing slowly, while he is moving at a much faster pace.  Note: to live in France and get residence cards, you must know some French.  Business is NOT conducted in English. Rightfully so.