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Christmas Cracker: Gay Erotica for the Holidays

It¿s time to be homo for the holidays. Ebenezer Spooge has nothing on the heroes and anti-heroes of these four tales of holiday cheer. In Jazmin Starr¿s Christmas Carol, the heroine decides to spend the holiday break with her trusty vibrator and a collection of gay porn. Things go horribly wrong and she finds herself inveigled into pretending to be the girlfriend of one side of a hunky gay couple. The price for her compliance is high: she wants to watch the two men make love. Barry Lowe¿s three stories complete the set. In Fifty Shades of Fey, one of Santa¿s elves gets himself into all sorts of trouble when he attempts to break into a house to read the Naughty or Nice Meter. He gets a lot more than he bargained for when he falls asleep in the dungeon¿s leather sling. OMG! Santa¿s Got a Six-Pack! is a holiday romance in which a twink comic designer falls for Mr. Perfect, an older man whom he believes to be married. This story¿s happy ending will have you reaching for the tissues. In Christmas on the Rocks, Steve and Billy continue their incredible adventures of raw, hard sex. Billy takes on a pre-Christmas job as a pizza delivery boy but, much to Steve¿s chagrin, it isn¿t just pizza that Billy delivers. Will their relationship survive? This one will also have you reaching for the tissues ¿ but for a very different reason. Excerpt from: Fifty Shades of Fey ¿What am I going to do with you?¿ he asked as he paced the office. It was a rhetorical question. He wasn¿t asking my opinion because he would have already made up his mind what punishment was my due. The United Nations talks a lot about Democracy but what we have here is a dictatorship. Nick¿s an immortal so there¿s no chance we¿ll ever be ruled by anyone more benevolent, or that we¿ll ever get to vote on anything. Hell, we make the Vatican and the Dalai Lama look positively benign politically in comparison. Nick may have believed that his punishment fitted the crime; I found it harsh and unnecessary. Perhaps not unnecessary ¿ someone had to do it. But it was a shit job usually reserved for the intransigent, the criminal or the insane. To give the old miser credit, he was slowly implementing new technology but some areas were still in the grip of the old-fashioned meters which required on-site readings, much like the gas and electricity meters of yore. Most of the world was now hooked up to Santa¿s mainframe computer that automatically registered each and every human¿s naughty or nice quotient until, at midnight on December 24, it spat out a list of those who were deemed worthy of Santa¿s largesse. I pulled my thin coat tighter around my body, fluffed up my wet scarf around my mouth and nose to prevent the cold from penetrating, and yanked my colorful beanie down over my head to protect the pointy tips of my ears. Sighing loudly, I put my head down to strike out against the buffeting flurry of snow. Why the fuck couldn¿t he have sent me somewhere warm,

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Amazon
$9.89 See It
Battlescars: A Rock & Roll Romance

Battlescars is book one of the Battlescars series. Aubrey Thompson is a twenty-three year old flight attendant for her dad¿s small commercial fleet. She¿s a sarcastic smartass that has no problem telling you where to go. She also despises rock stars¿but that¿s all part of the story. Her Granny Jean is spy and will have you laughing out loud. In comes Jake Parker, the twenty-five year old lead singer of Battlescars. His reputation is the untamable bad-boy. He¿s completely ¿balls to the wall¿ in everything that he does. Two days after returning home from a month long tour across Europe he gets a visit from Bruce, an executive from the record label. He informs Jake that Battlescars is going back on tour for three months. What everyone doesn¿t know is that Jake is worn down and sick of the same old shit. His record label hires Aubrey¿s dads company to fly him around for the last minute tour. In order to keep her dad's company afloat they will have to learn to play nice. When Jake first meets Aubrey she refuses to even acknowledge his existence. He sees her as refreshing and a challenge. Both of them have some pretty heavy scars from their pasts holding them back. Can Jake get Aubrey to let him in? Or will she shoot him down based on his outlandish reputation? Will her fear of getting hurt again keep him out for good? Are the two of them a match in heaven or hell?

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Amazon
$8.92 See It
Hard Body Rock (Rockstar Romance) (The Body Rock Series Book 1)

From USA Today Bestselling Author Nora FliteShe thought she was stepping into fame: Meeting Drezden Halifax should have been a dream. But dreams are supposed to be sweet, fragile things that whisk you away. Not monsters crafted from hard fingers, gritty vocal cords and a voice so powerful it could tear my guts right out.Maybe my heart, too. Becoming the guitarist for Four and a Half Headstones was everything I needed.Too bad the band's lead singer is doing his best to ruin everything I am. He thought she would solve his troubles: Lola Cooper, god damn Lola Cooper. She was the perfect guitarist, fingers that could summon a sweet song or punch a chord. She's supposed to save my band, make us come out of this tour in one piece...But I just want to tear HER to pieces. No one should make me feel this way. One look at her, one smell, and I knew I'd have to have her. She does things to me that scare the shit out of me. Make me want to slam her on a wall and listen to her cries: eager or fearful, it doesn't matter.I'm a monster...And I don't even care.

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Amazon
$7.19 See It
Crown the Jester

- Thup-thup-thup-thup-thup! "Do you hear that?" Frank asked. "Uh-huh!" Sammy replied. "When a brother hears that sound, he drops his reefer and puts his hands up." Frank tore the balcony curtains open. Hovering a few feet beyond the railing was Hochi's helicopter, shining darkly like a coughing inkblot. "Shit!" Frank said. There was his chance at saving those sixteen thousand kids, flying off into the sunrise. He could see the forming crowd of reporters and TV crews at the hotel entrance, far below. Come to bury him, no doubt. And was that Bradley in the co-pilot's chair, puking his guts out? What the hell? Frank didn't think. He couldn't -- his long night of chasing will-o-the-wisps had left his dogs barking -- and he didn't need to, for he understood his situation perfectly: He was dead. It made no difference whether his body met its end today, splattered on the sidewalk, or in six months, drunk and bloated in the sauna at Cal-Neva. On the inside, he was already dead. Resurrection, as unlikely as it was, was the only chance he had left. He ran at the railing and leapt. - Crown the Jester is an action-comedy novel set in a skewed 1963. It stars these period players: Frank Sinatra - a new President Richard Nixon - a schemer Marilyn Monroe - a Rousseauian bimbo Sam Giancana - a fading mastermind Joe DiMaggio - a baseball player Checkers - a dog and these original characters: Bradley Hastings - a loyal bodyguard Tony Montoni - a divided bodyguard Dr. Haruki Mizobe - a mad scientist William W. Willoughby - a hired attorney Carla Montoni - a first love et al. In 1960, Frank Sinatra became the Vice President, thanks to dockyards, dames, and mob money. It was beautiful; the best job he¿d ever had. Easy easy, Eggs Benedict and champagne cocktails. Once a week he sang on the radio. One song, some old canard like My Heart is a Hobo, then it was time for bed. And the women! Through the whole dark drunken blur of it he never once considered that Jack might die. But Jack did die, shot dead by a prideful man... In 1963, Frank Sinatra became the President, thanks to a .38. Now, together with his friends Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr., he must heal the nation's wounds. And if that ain¿t enough, he's got a ship on fire in the Gulf of Tonkin. And Nixon plotting to impeach him. And his Sam Giancana demanding favors due. And Marilyn making trouble just because it's her nature. And that poor sap Joe¿s the one who pulled the trigger! Easy? Hell!

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Amazon
$7.66 See It
Distorted Thoughts: One woman's struggle to eliminate negative thinking

Most daddy¿s like to call their little girls princess, my dad always called me his little sludge rock. He said ¿Sheila, you¿re smart, solid and strong like a rock, but for whatever reason you¿re always surrounded by shit, so you¿re my little sludge rock.¿ I have compiled journals that started with me leaving my abusive husband six years ago. When you¿re in a bad relationship, you lose yourself. Somehow through all of this trial and error I found myself. I have covered a wild and wide assortment of topics filled with hilarious quick witted moments and heart felt moments of self-clarification and acceptance. I rose from being unemployed, homeless and a single woman with no self-esteem to this self-assured, motivated dreamer. I discuss beating my demons and loving myself after a lifetime of hating myself. Each entry is like its own short story where I analyze myself that will make you cry, laugh and hopefully want to take notes. I like to think if the people who contributed to the Chicken soup for the soul books were drunks this is what would happen. *Warning I cuss a lot. I'm crude. I can come across offensive at times. But I'm always honest.

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Amazon
$9.00 See It
Bushwhacked: Life in George W. Bush's America

From Molly Ivins and Lou Dubose, authors of Shrub, Bushwhacked is a hilarious, no-holds-barred look at George W. Bush and his administration, and an essential book for understanding the full, destructive impact of his presidency.For years, bestselling political commentator Molly Ivins has been sounding the alarm about George W. Bush. In Shrub, her 2000 skewering of presidential candidate Bush, the inimitable Ivins, with co-author Lou Dubose, offered a devastating exposé of Dubya¿s career and abysmal record as governor of Texas. Now, in their second book on our current White House occupant, Ivins and Dubose take the wire brush to the Bush presidency and show how he has applied the same flawed strategies he used in governing Texas to running the largest superpower in the world.Bushwhacked brings to light the horrendous legacy of the Bush tax cut, his increasingly appalling environmental record, his administration¿s involvement in the Enron scandal, and the real Bush foreign policy¿botched nation building in Kabul and Baghdad, alienation of former allies¿and, unfortunately, much more. Ivins and Dubose go beyond the too frequently soft media coverage of Bush to show us just how damaging his policies have been to ordinary Americans¿¿the Doug Jones Average,¿ rather than the Dow Jones Average. Bushwhacked is filled with sharp observation, humor, and compassion for the people often ignored by the federal government and the Washington press corps.With the war on terrorism posing unprecedented challenges to our civil liberties, and with the Bush economic policy in shambles, it is high time for a close look at the state of our Union. Molly Ivins and Lou Dubose provide just that in Bushwhacked¿an incisive, entertaining, and damning indictment of the Bush presidency.We've been BushwhackedMolly Ivins and Lou Dubose on:Dubya¿s involvement in the failure of Harken Energy Corporation:¿There are countless subjects on which George W. Bush might have pleaded ignorance in 1990, but a failing oil business was not one of them.¿Dubya¿s accomplishments as governor of Texas:¿As full-time residents of the state that gave you tort reform, H. Ross Perot, and penis-enlargement options on executive health plans, we¿re obliged to warn you that if Dubya Bush really had exported ¿the Texas Miracle,¿ the country would be in deep shit.¿Dubya¿s environmental record:¿Bush has a chemical-dependency problem, but it¿s not cocaine. It¿s Monsanto, Dow, and Union Carbide. They wrote the checks that put him in the Texas governor¿s mansion....Bush had two voluntary emissions-control programs here in Texas. One involved polluting industries. The other was directed at adolescent males, who were encouraged to ¿try abstinence.¿ Only 3 of our 8,645 most obnoxiously polluting refineries actually volunteered to cut back on their toxic emissions. Numbers on teenage boys are not yet in.¿Why the Republican Party is the party of unregulated meat and po

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Amazon
$0.16 See It
NEC Display E231W Widescreen Lcd Monitor

LCD Monitor - Limited Warranty: 3 Year - Width: 21.7" - Height: 13" - Depth: 2.8" - Color: Black - Green Compliant: Green Compliant - Screen Size: 23"

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Walmart.com
$210.99 See It
Asus Proart PA248Q Widescreen Lcd Monitor

LCD Monitor - Limited Warranty: 3 Year - Width: 21.9" - Height: 16.4" - Depth: 9.3" - Color: Black - Green Compliant: Green Compliant - Screen Size: 24"

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Walmart.com
$289.99 See It
Avue 24" HD-SDI Lcd Monitor - AVL240SDI

LCD Monitor - Limited Warranty: 1 Year - Width: 23.2" - Height: 14" - Depth: 2.2" - Green Compliant: Green Compliant - Screen Size: 24" - Aspect Ratio: 16:9

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Home Depot
$799.00 See It
Samsung U28D590D Widescreen Lcd Monitor

LCD Monitor - Width: 26" - Height: 16.1" - Depth: 2.5" - Green Compliant: Green Compliant - Screen Size: 28" - Screen Mode: QFHD - Green Compliance Certificate/Authority: ENERGY STAR

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Abt Electronics
$547.99 See It
Acer B276HL Widescreen Lcd Monitor

LCD Monitor - Width: 25.2" - Height: 16.1" - Depth: 8.7" - Color: Dark Gray - Green Compliant: Green Compliant - Screen Size: 27" - Aspect Ratio: 16:9

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Buydig.com
$289.99 See It
21.5" EliteDisplay LED Widescreen Monitor with Webcam (E221c Black)

Bring the meeting to you with this convenient and precise monitor. The EliteDisplay HP Widescreen Monitor (E221c Black) combines the wide viewing angles of IPS technology with integrated communications technology so it's easy and comfortable to quickly...

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Walmart.com
$187.99 See It
Professional 22" Widescreen LCD Monitor (V226WL bd Black)

Find the working angle that's perfect for you with the Acer 22" Widescreen LCD Monitor (V226WL bd, Black), which tilts, swivels, pivots and can be adjusted for height. The stand also has a magnetic area, perfect for holding paperclips and keeping your...

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Walmart.com
$122.94 See It
VK278Q 27" 1920 x 1080 1000000:1 Widescreen LED Monitor

The picture you view is only as good as your monitor allows it to be. For exceptional viewing where you get to really enjoy the nuances of high-definition pictures, try the ASUS 27" Widescreen LCD Monitor, (VK278Q). This 27" widescreen LCD monitor...

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Walmart.com
$263.29 See It
B286HK ymjdpprz 28-inch UHD 4K2K (3840 x 2160) Widescreen Monitor with ErgoStand

The stunning Acer B6 Series monitor combines professional style with ergonomic design to suit all environments and viewing demands. From the 28-inch display with an Ultra HD (4K2K) resolution to the superior 100 Million:1 contrast ratio your presented...

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Buydig.com
$449.00 See It
Refurbished Acer 24" Widescreen LED LCD Monitor (G247HL Black)

This Refurbished Acer 24" Widescreen LED LCD Monitor is great for playing video games, showing movies, viewing documents side by side and enlarging photos during the editing process.

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Walmart.com
$93.00 See It
19.5" LCD Widescreen Monitor (B206HQL ymdh, Dark Gray)

Enhance your computer system with this Acer 19.5" LCD Widescreen Monitor (B206HQL ymdh, Dark Gray). Ideal for use in office environments, libraries and computer labs, this screen delivers dynamic and energizing visuals. This Acer widescreen monitor...

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Walmart.com
$106.24 See It
Professional 22" Widescreen LCD Monitor (V226HQL Abmd Black)

The Acer 22" Widescreen LCD Monitor (model V226HQL, Abmd Black) gives you a wide screen area for running applications and viewing work documents. With its anti-glare design, you are free to place the screen anywhere in the room without light...

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Walmart.com
$120.99 See It
Professional 22" Widescreen LCD Monitor (B226HQL Aymdr Black)

The Acer 22" Widescreen LCD Monitor (B226HQL Aymdr Black) is suitable to use at home or at work. You can place it most anywhere in a room because the anti-glare feature will preserve its clarity, even under dazzling sunlight. You will have a clear view...

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Walmart.com
$143.99 See It
V7 D19W12-N6 Widescreen Lcd Monitor

LCD Monitor - Color: Black - Screen Size: 19" - Screen Mode: WXGA+ - Maximum Resolution: 1440 x 900 - DVI: DVI - VGA: VGA - Contrast Ratio: 700:1

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Overstock Main
$42.99 See It
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